


Heart, Body and Soul

by BinBingBong



Series: #구삼이들은사랑이다... 93'Line [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cute, Fluff, Friendship, Hongbin is insecure, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Romance, soft, wonshik is in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-10 00:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinBingBong/pseuds/BinBingBong
Summary: Chp#1Hongbin is beautiful in more ways than one and Wonshik wants him to see thatChp#2Other couples did it romantic like cooking dinner for each other. Hongbin and Wonshik just brought take out and left it at the counter for the other to help himself





	1. Chapter 1

Hongbin is beautiful. That much is a fact even a blind man can see. It's like a universal truth, undeniable, unarguable. And it's something everyone around him knows and acknowledges. Except Hongbin.

He knows. He doesn't acknowledge it. 

And Wonshik doesn't want anything more in the whole entire world but for Hongbin to see that he's ethereal, mesmerizing, gorgeous, other-worldly, angelic, ravishing, scenic- 

''that’s enough Wonshik, that's overdoing it”

"It’s not. It’s all true! You're beautiful Bin-nah I wish you would give yourself more credit"

" Okay you sappy. Let's just watch the movie" 

And Hongbin leans back I'm Wonshik’s lap, oblivious of the way Wonshik’s heartbeat increases 5 beats per second, he doesn’t know why. Wonshik is unable to focus on the movie for the rest of the night.

'ㅅ'

Wonshik can see Hongbin is upset but he's unable to do anything about it. He's already tried to send a signal to Hakyeon to take a break but the leader is too into the 'mode' he's hardly noticing anything but the choreographer's words and where his members put their legs 

The new choreo was presented today and everything but going just find until the choreographer told Hongbin's part in the chorus was to stand in front, unmoving while Taekwoon hyung sings his high notes. 

Naturally it would make more sense to put the two main vocals back to back when they harmonize, sing their high notes and adlibs in pattern but the teacher told them he wanted Hongbin to stand in the center and "look appealing" because he's the visual and it would make for "good imagery"

When Hongbin argued that he looks utterly useless, not dancing and not singing either the choreographer brushed him off saying "the center needs to be beautiful. You'll be good for the spot" 

This would be a compliment to anyone else but Wonshik knew better how Hongbin felt about such comments. And now he was tripping on his feet, bending his joints harder than necessary, putting more and more energy into simple steps. Which was a clear sign he was angry and upset. 

Hakyeon must have noticed. There's hardly anything he misses but doesn't say anything because he knew there was no changing the choreographer’s mind and addressing it right now may not be suitable. Wonshik would agree but he still wanted to talk to Hongbin. Maybe calm him down a little bit. He had no idea what he would say but someone needed to say something. Especially when all of them knew how much things like this unsettled their member.

An hour and half later Hakyeon finally calls for a time out and Wonshik isn't surprised -disappointed- but not surprised when Hongbin wordlessly grabs a towel and exits the dance room. 

Taekwoon is the only one looking while the others are sprawled out in the floor and Hakyeon is immersed in watching the recorded video of their performance. Wonshik and Taekwoon share a look and it's clear to the rapper ten the elder doesn't know what to do. So- Wonshik sighs and follows Hongbin out.

He checks the next room first, it's usually where they drop all this bags or keep food but Hongbin isn't there. Both other practice rooms are occupied by the other two groups which leave nowhere on this floor for Hongbin to be. Wonshik checks through the bathroom but with no luck. 

When he's defending the stairs to look at the Lowe floor it hits him that it's 7 PM which is almost sundown. He halts in his step and turns around to climb back up until he's standing on the roofs. The four sides are open and there are benches on either side, accompanied by flower pots that cover all of the corners. The rooftop of the company has always been more of Greenhouse except without the green shades. As Wonshik predicted he finds Hongbin leaning on one of the railings, towel draped over his shoulder. And a water bottle placed by his feet. He's still a little sweaty; less than Wonshik but his hair stick on his forehead and his white extra-large t-shirt is flipping from the cool breeze. He looks so little and Wonshik has no idea why because the younger is as tall as him and with the black soft tights he's wearing highlighting his legs he should look even taller but someone he looks small.

Wonshik walks forward and joins Hongbin in leaving across the railings with more bravado than he's feeling. Hongbin doesn't move probably sensed Wonshik’s arrival. The rapper glances over in a way he hopes isn't clear that he's examining the younger and hongbin's face is neutral. The anger from earlier gone. Or maybe masked and he almost looks peaceful and comfortable. 

_…And beautiful. Somewhere in the back of Wonshik’s mind, he notices._

Makes sense. Hongbin always liked the sunset.

"You okay?" He asks uselessly knowing the answer.

"Yeah sure why" Hongbin shrugs turning his smile to the older. Wonshik sighs

"You know why Bin" he doesn't want to talk about this. Hongbin looks okay and maybe he's cleared his head but he can't stop but does anyway. 

"Because once again I'm reminded of why I'm in this group, what purpose i serve-"

"Hongb- " 

"That's all I'm good at is being a show piece?" And Wonshik internally cringes, an odd feeling of _wanting to protect_ spreading over him. Hongbin had said those words were so neutral yet so bitter and...broken. 

But before Wonshik can come up with an intelligent reply, because he's kinda dumb and bad at comforting people, Hongbin sighs

"Sorry, didn't mean to vent like that, let's go back, break time is over" with that the younger man turns and walks away. 

Without a second thought Wonshik calls his name out and Hongbin turns. He's already masked his face with neutrality and he smiles at Wonshik which is so fake that Wonshik wants to tear if off somehow. 

The younger raise an eyebrow at the rapper but he doesn't say anything retrieving Wonshik from his thoughts

"You- you know I don't think you're a showpiece right? We don't, I mean" he shutters

" I know Shik" the smile turns from fake to sad for a mere second before it's gone too. Wonshik feels like the need to say more.

"And that I – we don't only like you because you're beautiful, right" 

This time, Hongbin doesn't say anything and leaves. Leaving Wonshik confused and baffled under the night sky growing darker and darker.

/ㅅ\

"Sanghyuk-" Wonshik calls his younger roommate flopping down on the mattress. Every joint and muscle in his body hurts and he's sure now that he's on his bed it will be impossible for him to get up to shower. Everything of his body is protesting and screaming and the evening conversation with Hongbin is just another one of his burdens.

"Mhm?" The younger gives a muffled sound from the other side of the room where he's putting on his shirt. Already showered unlike Wonshik and Wonshik maybe envies the younger's stamina

"Do you think Hongbin is insecure? Or unconfident about his voice or dancing ?" When no reply comes after several ticks of the clock Wonshik cocks his head to look at the youngest who is looking at him with an unreadable expression. But it's nothing good, Wonshik knows.

''what?" He asks but Sanghyuk is already shaking his head as if to say "you're stupid" and Wonshik really doesn't know why 

Sanghyuk walk around the bed to sit on it and turns to face Wonshik with such seriousness that Wonshik has no choice but to sit up. 

"What did he say" the other boy asks.

"What do you mean?"

" I know you went after him hyung, I saw you follow him, what did you talk about?"

" You- if you knew he was upset why didn't you say anything, or anyone for for that matter" something inside him turns protective and he's angry that if they noticed why did they leave it be.

"I did, he was pretty transparent- " a pause to think then Sanghyuk juts his lip out in his signature duck face "which is unlike Hongbinnie Hyung"

Wonshik raises an eyebrow waiting for more

" But Ravi hyung, I didn't say anything to him because i shouldn't, maybe it's not really a big deal but I'm younger than him and I feel like his pride will be hurt if i comfort him on things he's insecure about-"

It's the most serious Wonshik has seen Sanghyuk in months.

"And to answer your question, you're really dense and no offense very stupid"

"Hey!"

The younger ignores him " - he's always been insecure and unconfident, you know how he cried back in the years, he's grown up and is cool about everything , he's also shut down a lot, doesn't talk about his feelings or problems but I don't think hyung realizes how. Much he's grown and improved, he's always been insecure"

Wonshik stares at Sanghyuk like he's grown a second head then whispers " i- never thought- noticed..."

"Not the first time you've been so naive"

" Huh?"

" There's a lot of things- people around you hyung that you've looked past, a lot of feelings you didn't notice a lot of people you didn't see, I hope you pay more attention, especially to people around you" Sanghyuk moves to shut down the lamp on their shared bed side table and when Wonshik inquires _"what do you mean"_ genuinely confuse and puzzled by Sanghyuk's words, riddles, the other just says "good night hyung'' before disappearing under the covers 

Wonshik is unable to sleep.

'ㅅ'

The next day, Hakyeon tell them there's been changes on the choreo. He doesn't says it explicitly but the only change is that Hongbin is no longer the center and Jaehwan is put in his place. No one mentions it, not even Hongbin but they know Hakyeon did it. 

Wonshik feels guilty that he doubted his leader's love and consideration towards them. He mentally apologizes, not brave enough to say it out loud.

After what feels like hours but only 2, Hongbin stops abruptly mid-step. They all look at him but he doesn't say anything or addresses them, just keeps staring at the reflection in the mirror. His face is like they when he's judging himself expect that it's not visible on his features but his eyes. Wonshik wants to tell Hongbin that he's enough and he's doing great because somehow he knows Hongbin, in his mind and thoughts doesn't think so and is giving himself a hard time.

''Hongbin- " Hakyeon says carefully he must have senses something because he's unusually careful in his tone '' do you need a break" the leader asks softer than he speaks when they're practicing. All the authority and firmness on his eyes absent and maybe Hongbin slumps just a little at those words.

"What did you say to them" the visual asks, tone flat and emotionless

"Probably nothing what you're thinking-" Hakyeon says, firm but still softly. He crosses his arms out if habit making him look more authoritive than he probably wants to look right now. 

"That Hongbin doesn't like being displayed as a pretty thing so you want them to change positions?" Hongbin turns to look directly, his words bitter and Wonshik tense up. Hakyeon doesn't look affected, at that timeTaekwoon is leaning on the wall watching without expression like he’s trying to read their body languages but Wonshik knows it only means he's ready to intervene or forming words in his head. 

Sanghyuk looks a little - careful- like he expects something to go wrong and is dreading it. Jaehwan looks plain confused.

"That,It was ridiculous to _not_ put two main vocals Back to back in a chorus part because_ that _makes _much better picture_"

Then he adds “your position change was just adjustment"

Wonshik sighs in relief. Hakyeon knows exactly how to word his statements and he is immensely impressed by how Hakyeon says it so firm, final and sincerely that even Hongbin looks taken aback

Hongbin doesn’t say anything but it’s clear the conversation is over. Hakyeon excuses himself saying he needs to talk to someone and they all should do individual practice for a while.

As soon as Hakyeon leaves the room, Hongbin follows, delaying just a little to avoid bumping into the older.

Sanghyuk gives Wonshik a look that speaks volumes and he mouths _what_ at the youngest because seriously what is he supposed to do?

He glances over at where Taekwoon is sitting and the vocalist smiles at him, encouraging and Wonshik can see the unspoken words “_go to him”_

Wonshik runs out and checks all the rooms once again but Hongbin is nowhere, not even on the roof. On his way back he bumps into Hakyeon who looks a little tired like he had to win some verbal fight that drained him and when Hakyeon speaks, Wonshik knows why the older looks so worn out

_“_I sent Hongbin home, do you want to go to him, maybe you can help him divert his mind?’

Wonshik shakes his head, he doesn’t know what he’ll say, what he can say, it’s probably better if Hongbin is given a little time to himself… Hakyeon pats his shoulder once before they both walk back in to resume practice.

A thousand thoughts swim in Wonshik’s mind as he tries and fails to perfect his footwork. Hongbin has been valued for his looks and body for as long as he can remember, since trainee days to even now, after 7 years he’s always been praised for how good he looks, how beautiful he is. Because it’s true, something about Hongbin is so stunning and mesmerizing that it’s hard to just hold back from praising him. Hongbin has always smiled throughout all those praises. Whenever an choreographer teacher would complement him, or other idols, MC’s or directors. He even smiled brightly when he was cast in drams _just_ because of his handsome face. And Wonshik never realized that maybe that smile was not genuine, that maybe Hongbin wasn’t so happy at being a pretty face.

He thinks back to all those, countless times when he praised, complimented, wooed the younger. Calling him handsome shamelessly and publicly, without any hesitation, because with all his heart Wonshik believed that. But unlike others, he knew, never said it put loud, but knew Hongbin was more than just his face. Hell, Wonshik had seen how much there was to his age-mate, how much talent and skills he had, how hard working and determined he was, how ambitious, how kind, caring, thoughtful he’d always been. Wonshik _knew_, all of that and more, but he never said it out loud. Never thought that maybe he needed to hear those compliments more than be praised of his beauty, that literally everyone else already did.

Wonshik was no different; he was just like them, voicing how he thought of the younger, even though he didn’t feel that...

Sanghyuk said Hongbin had cried, Wonshik saw him cry handful of times but never in front of him, last he saw was an year ago and it was Hakyeon who comforted him, not Wonshik. Wonshik, like the careless fool he was, never thought to inquire the reason, never thought to ask him if he was okay- no- he was always so absorbed in Hongbin's presence and beauty and company, basking in the younger’s presence, gaping at everything he did, clapping at his quirks and sarcasm, staring at him when he did literally anything, that he never thought of being a good friend and ask how his friend was feeling.

Wonshik felt stupid and useless. He had been complimenting him on his looks thinking it was okay and enough when he should have showed the younger that he wasn’t just that. Hongbin needed that- and Wonshik didn’t deliver.

He thinks back to yesterday on the rooftop, when Hongbin didn’t answer him when he said he didn’t just like him for his looks and something drops and shatters inside Wonshik, leaving his heart shattering and crashing.

Just the mere thought of Hongbin thinking Wonshik only valued him because he was beautiful? No- no, it felt dirty and wrong and Hongbin _did think that didn’t he, that’s why he didn’t answer-_

Wonshik shakes his head, clearing his vision, and finds Hakyeon looking at him with concern. He must have spaced out.

Wonshik turns “hyung, I’ve gotta go” and he runs, grabbing his shoes and jacket, down the halls and out on the streets. Not bothering with grabbing his car keys and taking his car, or asking a manager for a ride, he runs- down the streets on the familiar road, down the dusty sidewalks, past the rusty lamp posts. His heart beat is beating frantically but all he can think of is how Hongbin must be torturing himself by his thoughts, maybe crying, or beating himself over. He didn’t deserve to think of himself like that, damnit he didn’t deserve any of the shit the world has given him, Wonshik has given him without realizing.

By the time Wonshik gets to the dorm, he sweating like crazy but he hardly cares. He's over flowing with adrenaline, so he skips two steps at once, too impatient to wait for the elevator until he’s punching he code of their dorm.

He hasn’t been here in months , it’s silent when he enter, the place that once used to be theirs,o has Sanghyuk and Hongbin now. There’s light coming from the kitchen and when Wonshik enters it, he sees Hongbin, who is mixing something in a cup with a spoon, seemingly lost in Thought and unaware of Wonshik’s arrival. he’s looking down on the floor and without a second thought Wonshik blurts, uncaring how random he would sound “I don’t only like you because you’re beautiful!”

Hongbin jumps, letting out a little gasp and drops- fortunately only the spoon.

“what the hell- “ the younger exclaims with wide eyes “Wonshik!” he puts a hand on his heart, startled by Wonshik’s sudden voice in the deep silence he had buried himself in.

Wonshik waits a moment, enough for them both to catch their breaths, during which Hongbin is still looking at him with wide eyes and judge-y face.

Wonshik then carefully steps forward “I don’t think you’re only your face Hongbin, I don’t think you know that-dont you”

Hongbin opens his mouth to say something, probably like “leave it” or “I’m okay” but Wonshik is done letting Hongbin brush things off when its really not okay.

“I know you don’t think yourself as much and its okay, you want to keep pushing yourself so you’re better, I get that bin but I want you to know- “ a pause, somehow this sounds so intimate, like a confession. Wonshik is afraid of the implication of his next words “that I think you’re wonderful”

Hongbin opens his mouth, raises his finger but stops midair, like he doesn’t know what to say, or maybe he’s not sure if he’s hearing Wonshik correctly. Wonshik takes another step, overwhelmed by hongbin’s scent, the light fruited soap scent, that belongs to Jaehwan, overcoming his senses, and grabs the younger’s hands. He doesn’t know why he does it, maybe because Hongbin looks so beautiful in the soft lights, or maybe because he looks so worn out and tired, for so many reason that Wonshik wants to hold him and tell him that he’s _enough_, but Hongbin doesn’t take his hand back, instead he gently puts down his mug and Wonshik garbs his other’s hands too, a little desperately, he clutches on the younger’s fingers, feeling the soft pink skin and a stupid thought crosses his mind _ I want to kiss these hands_. He kicks it out.

“I think you’re fun and very talented. These aren’t just words” Wonshik doesn’t know where this courage is coming from or how his mind is forming these words, but it’s like writing lyrics, he’s just verbalizing what’s on his mind, in his heart, what he believes and he knows Hongbin is listening.

“you’ve improved so much over the years, in every aspect, your voice Is beautiful, your dancing is so captivating, you have your own color in everything, you aren’t like Hakyeon hyung when you dance, you aren’t like Jyani or Taek hyung when you sing, you aren’t me when you rap, you have your own color, a distinct one and you should never compare yourself to any one, because it’s you who makes what you are, you don’t have to fit someone’s standard or expectations you’re enough. You’re enough the way you are, the way you’re trying and improving “

Hongbin listen silently, not breaking eye contact and some time he’s clutched on Wonshik’s hand a little tighter, something to ground him.

“and other than this, you’re so intelligent and you should be proud of that, when I gave up on Masters, you still kept going, even when we were in college, you always had the best scores and I know you’re doing so well because I’ve seen your reports ion your table. You’re so talented in gaming I mean you’re literally ranked, worldwide, not many people can claim that Bin, and there are so many things great about you that make you who you are that I don’t even know because I am a complete idiot”

Wonshik pauses, out of breathe and sees that Hongbin's eyes are shining with tears that he’s doing nothing to jeep in. probably doesn’t even know of them. He’s looking at Wonshik with so much h hope, and clarity that it breaks Wonshik’s heart. Maybe Hongbin has been never told all this before and it crushes the rapper. Hongbin should be reminded this every day, every morning, he should be caressed softly and gently and kissed while he’s sang to about all the praises that he deserves to hear. And no one is doing that. Something takes over Wonshik’s mind; he’s sure he’s not conscious of what he says and does next.

“I claimed to be your soul mate, best friend, I wore it with pride” he says softly, whispers and watches tears roll down Hongbin. It’s the most vulnerable he’s seen the younger in years, sad and broken. I vented my frustrations on you, my worries and problems, I asked for advice and you came through for me even if I called you in the middle of the night but I realized, I never listened to you, never took time to appreciate all of your talents and sills, all of you-

He says the next words so carefully, whispering, afraid that if he’s loud it would break the moment, or maybe he’s afraid breaking them, “because I was always so deep in my own feeling, looking at you and trying to figure out my heart, I should have told you that I loved you for more than just your beautiful eyes and lips and nose, besides your voice or what you showed on the outside- I’m sorry” and Hongbin breaks. He lets out a broken sob and before Wonshik can think, he pulls on his hands until he’s inch close to Wonshik. He pushes all his thought out and leans, just a little until his lips come to touch hongbin’s.

Its calm, sweet. Familiar. And it feels right.

They stand there and Wonshik tastes Hongbin's tears as they roll down even more, their eyes are closed the only sound being hongbin’s sobs and Wonshik’s rapid heartbeat. Its stupid how nervous and moved he is like a teenager having his first kiss, but he’s here, 27 years old and after years of not knowing, this finally feels right, like he’s finally reached home.

It’s nothing but a chaste press of lips yet it conveys so much emotions and Wonshik is afraid of parting, afraid of hongbin’s reaction. He doesn’t want to move. Ever.

Hongbin is the one to lean back. Wonshik’s ready to defend himself and say sorry, and its okay if Hongbin doesn’t feel it that way but Hongbin speaks first

“why” _why did you kiss me. I_t’s unspoken but clear.

“because I realized toady- “ Wonshik really doesn’t know where the courage is coming from “that I’ve been in love with the person you are Hongbin, have been for god knows how longs, and I would feel the same way about you even if you were troll ugly!” he say it with firmness and Hongbin snorts, then breaks into laughter. The sound so beautiful that Wonshik feels like drowning in it.

“now that’s a lie” the younger says, still holding Wonshik’s hands, still smiling. He looks beautiful.

Wonshik wipes his previous tears with him thumbs

Wonshik can now understand why his mind came up with the thoughts of Hongbin being beautiful with so much feeling. He just didn’t realize it before. 

“It’s true” he protest and Hongbin doesn’t argue. They stand like that for minutes, just looking at each other and it isn’t awkward in the least.

“did you mean it Kim Wonshik? “ Hongbin whispers, like he’s asking for a promise, final and firm

"Every singlefucking word and so much more” Wonshik says strongly feeling it now more than ever. 

Hongbin smiles “ and you like- “ he blushes beautifully, smartened and Wonshik resist the urge to kiss his cheeks.

“Yes, I like- no, I love you Bin and it’s okay if you don’t because that won’t stop me. “ Hongbin smiles shyly at those words but grips on their hands even tighter. “and I love the person you are, the witty, sarcastic, funny, intelligent, talented, kind, considerate, beautiful hearted, perfect person you are, you being drop dead gorgeous is a fucking bonus”

“this is so different from the compilation of words you used last time” he murmurs shyly, dropping his head but Wonshik can still see that beautiful Red glow on his cheeks and somehow Hongbin being shy and so affected by Wonshik’s confession makes him feel so confident even though the younger is yet to accept or reject Wonshik’s feelings

“I meant all of those too” he whispers, lifting Hongbin's face with one hand and looking him in the eyes, like that could convey the growing storm of love and emotions inside him.

When the younger doesn’t say anything for several beats he inquires, way too confidently “am I gonna be loving you one sided?’ his tone is playful but his heart is beating crazily, afraid of the answer, just a little because it wouldn’t change his feelings in the slightest.

Hongbin doesn’t reply but duck his head and pulls on Wonshik’s hand and drags them both to his bed room. Wonshik’s hear does a crazy flip that’s very dangerous when Hongbin shuts the door behind them . he turns shyly to face Wonshik and steps forwards to press against him, hands going around the rapper’s waist and before Wonshik can process that move, Hongbin is kissing him

And it’s so unlike their kiss from a few minutes ago, its deep and chaste and Wonshik’s heart start beating a thousand beats per second and before Wonshik can respond Hongbin has him pressed firm but gently on the wall and his hands come to circle around his neck. He tilts his head when Wonshik kisses back, deepening as he nips on Wonshik’s lips and they are a little breathless and very hot when they part.

“does that answer your question” Hongbin asks shyly, weirdly in contrast to how he was kissing just before

“no” Wonshik whisper deeply, still out of breath and pecks at Hongbin's lips once before adding “tell me properly” he knows he's teasing but it’s all worth it when Hongbin turns red but murmurs , head still ducked “I love you too”

Wonshik lifts his head with two fingers rubbing his thumb on his cheek. “ I wanna hear it Bin, it’s only fair”

Hongbin sigh dramatically like a tired mom before locking their gazes “I love you too” Wonshik smiles like a fool and leans forward to kiss but Hongbin says “I liked you for a long time too, but unlike you I was aware of it” the tone he says it in is very clearing accusing Wonshik of being an idiot but Wonshik can’t think of that. His eyes go wide. Hongbin liked him back too. They wasted so much time, he was such a fool all this time.

Like reading his thoughts Hongbin says “we wasted so much time, you’re a fool “

And Wonshik promises, instantly and surely “I’ll make up for it “ and kisses Hongbin once again.

Hongbin is beautiful. He thinks. Heart, body and soul .

That even a blind man can see.


	2. Cold Hands, Warm Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other couples had it romantic and domestic like one partner cooking for the other and wait for them when they got home for diner, with Wonshik and Hongbin it was one partner bringing them spicy chicken or jajjangmyeon and leave it at the kitchen counter for the other to help themself

It had been a super tiring day. With solo preparation and all the company work Wonshik barely had time to scratch his head.

Not to say he was the busiest member though. When he left the studio Taekwoon was drowned in his probably 10th cup of coffee and looked like a dead man sitting in front of the screen. He'd barely registered him when he said goodbye to the elder, just made something a weird noise of acknowledgement which Wonshik wasn't sure if he even knew he made

the drive back was short but tiring and Wonshik found himself yawning several times . Maybe he shouldn't have declined the coffee Taekwoon offered him...

He parked the car on its usual spot and made his way up to his floor. The elevator was yet to be fixed and Wonshik mentally cursed all the maintenance people.

He unlocked the door to be hit by a strong fruity scent ... only 7 people knew his door lock, only two of them used fruity scents, and Wonshik doubted Hakyeon had come to visit him from the military

That narrowed it down to only one. His boyfriend… Wonshik smiled at the thought. He had seen Hongbin in the morning briefly in passing, and they had smiled at each other, but the rest if the Wonshik barely had time to think about the younger’s. They texted a couple of time bit it was just Wonshik asking Hongbin to fix a time for the next song record and Hongbin asking him to send a mail of schedule

Now although he was tired and ready to drop he was glad Hongbin was here, he would sleep so much better tonight he quietly took off his shoes and went in the closet room to pick up the pjs he'd abandoned there last night. Hongbin hadn't come out to greet him, Wonshik wondered if he was sleep. He used the spare room’s bath in order to not wake Hongbin up if he was sleeping. After brushing his teeth he padded into the kitchen. And like most other time when Hongbin came over which was a very few, the younger had brought food . Other couples had it romantic and domestic like one partner cooking for the other and wait for them when they got home for diner, with Wonshik and Hongbin it was one partner bringing them spicy chicken or jajjangmyeon and leave it at the kitchen counter for the other to help themself, while they slept. It was everything Wonshik would ask for and more. Other couples could have domestic and sweet, he was just happy to have good take out and a sleeping boyfriend.

Wonshik had uncharacteristically eaten both diner and luck at the company cafeteria today so he put the food in the refrigerator for later he filled himself at cup of water and grabbed an aspirin before padding towards him room. The sweet smell of fruit flowery scent and the cool air of air conditioning hit him the moment he opened the door. The room was dark save for the small light coming from the digits on the AC screen. The room was quite chill, Hongbin always liked it colder than most, Wonshik shivered at the cold sensation. The only sounding the room was the soft humming of the AC blow and even softer sounds of breathing. Wonshik saw Hongbin, curled up, hidden 90 percent inside the comforter, only the mop of his very brown and very soft hair peeking out on the top and his cute adorable toes sneaking a peak from below. Wonshik smiled at the sight of the dark and quiet and cold room, and Hongbin looked so deep in sleep and small while doing so.

he gulped down the medicine and put the glass on the dresser before very gently climbing onto bed, the mattress dipped under his weight under his knees and Hongbin stirred. Wonshik froze midair, his hand awkwardly hovering on top of the pillow, his knee lifted in the air. When Hongbin didn't move more, Wonshik lifted the covers most of it which Hongbin had wrapped around himself and slipped into them.

It wasn't too late, barely past 2 and a thought crossed Wonshik’s mind...Hongbin had the day half off today, he could have gone home and streamed his game or do practically anything else that wasn't sleeping in Wonshik’s bed looking adorable yet...he was here now and the mere thought of Hongbin preferring Wonshik’s company over other things made him all warm inside even in the cold room.

Wonshik moved so that he was pressed to Hongbin's back with his chest. Before he could slip a hand and hug Hongbin from behind. Hongbin made a grumbling sound which didn't sound like he was still asleep. After stirring a little Hongbin said

"when did you get in" his voice sleepy and horse along it even deeper than usual .

" just now " he replied, threading his hand through Hongbin's hair the other didn't reject the touch but moved so that he was completely facing Wonshik.

"Did you eat" Hongbin asked covering a yawn with his own tiny palm. Wonshik shook his head.

“I ate at the company, Taekwoon hyung wouldn't eat alone”

"Yeah..." the younger hummed sleepily.

"When did you get here” he asked in a whisper, not wanting to disturb if Hongbin was sleeping already.

The other replied after a few moments "after 10, I asked Jyani hyung to give me a ride, I got you food from the place we ate on the way" a pause "hyung insisted you try the sweet and sour chicken"

"OK, I'll reheat it in the morning" Wonshik smiled, he loved his caring members. "Do you wanna sleep more?”

"I would but you're sleepy and you snore" Hongbin replied yawning again “and I already had a few hours, I'll leave when you sleep" Wonshik stopped his hand that was threading in Hongbin's soft brown locks, his grip on his hand tightened. "you’re leaving?" He couldn't help but be disappointed.

"Yeah, I have to go home and get a few files done, Hyuk-ah said he needed those soon" Hongbin moved propping up on the pillow reversing their earlier position. Now Wonshik’s face was facing Hongbin's chest and Hongbin put his hand in Wonshik’s hair, but didn't move it.

"Work on my laptop, you have the files on your phone right, don't go, stay for the night" he pleaded a little desperately, making soft round eyes at Hongbin. Aegyeo never had much effect on him but Wonshik would try.

"Your windows is too outdated Shikie I don't know how you even work without it crashing”

"Same way I work for days without crashing“ he grinned and Hongbin playfully smacked his head, still whispering in hushed tones like they were afraid to break the moment. "Well, of course my windows is old, my boyfriend never updated it, and I don't know how" he teased playfully Hongbin chuckled, a light shade of red coloring his cheeks that was visible even in the dim light.

"I've only been your boyfriend for 4 months" Hongbin countered.

"well, then my best friend didn't update it, and he knows how ...that's even worse, aren't best friends supposed to help out like this" he pouted mockingly but something on Hongbin's face flickered.

"Bin, what's wrong-?"

"Am I not your best friend anymore..." Hongbin asked silently, then added in a whisper "now that I'm your boyfriend?" there was so much insecurity and fear in his voice, Wonshik felt overwhelm, Hongbin really cherished their friendship at that extent... Wonshik did too but he always knew Hongbin was the one who was the better friend. the younger often said boldly that he only had Wonshik as a friend and he loved it when Wonshik called him his soul mate.

suddenly Hongbin's words from a few years ago hit him "if I only have one good thing, it's my friendship with Wonshik " which was such a powerful confession because Hongbin had so many things he loved and cherished, his grandma, his family, VIXX, but he choose Wonshik. 

Now the thought that Hongbin feared their friendship wasn't there anymore....Hongbin was such an innocent person, so sensitive in the matters of heart and love, Wonshik felt his heart swell. His sweet Hongbin.

"Bin, what even made you think that" he started, sitting up, taking Hongbin's hand in his own. The younger sat up too, looking down in his lap, on their intervened hands.

"Just...I thought now that we were...dating, I thought...I don't know I thought- don't get me wrong I love what we are right now but I want to stay your best friend forever, even if we break up" He said it so unsurely, like he was scared

"Bin, look at me" so he did, his round eyes glossy and soft "you're everything to me, I know this is moving a bit too fast, but you're my boyfriend, the person I want to spend all my life with, the person I want to share everyday with, I wouldn't take anything over you, you're the best member a group can ask, a best brother a family could want- the best boyfriend, member, brother and friend _I _could have"

"And bin, before anything, being vixx, being band mates, brothers, lovers, boyfriends, before everything...we're best friends. We're soul mates and that will never ever change, I promise , not even if we decide to let go of each other one day, we’ll still be best friends no matter what" it was too much of a bold speech that not even Wonshik knew he could manage. But when Hongbin smiled, the insecurity in his eyes leaving, Wonshik knew he had said something g right.

"okay. thank you Wonshik-ah" 

"Stay until I sleep, then you can work in the spare room or lounge?" Wonshik asked, slipping back into the cover, pulling Hongbin down with him.

"Don't whine if you can't work the advance system when I'm done with your stuff" Hongbin placed an arm around Wonshik’s middle, the older mirrored that action. Their foreheads touched as they closed their eyes, enjoying the calm and quiet.

"You'll be here to teach me how why should I be worried" Wonshik mumbled already half asleep

"Pfft, what am I? your Computer Sciences Teacher?" Hongbin teased playfully.

"No, you’re my boyfriend, soul mate and best friend; I think I get some privileges"

"Go to sleep, I get privilege of hitting you too"

"Good night Bin" Wonshik said quietly, clutching Hongbin's hand tighter bringing it to his chest to lightly kiss his knuckles. Hongbin moved so that Wonshik was pressed in his chest, the sweet fruity soap scent calming him down, and the beating of his heart lulling him to sleep

.

.

.

“G'night Shik. Sleep well”

And so Wonshik did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where this came from but eh *shrugs* - i hope you enjoy! comments are more appreciated than kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like all that speech Shik gave to Hongbin were all starlights words, we all love him for more than just his face and i hope he knows that, i hope he can see that he's enough and that he matter. i hope he find true happiness because if anyone deserves it, its Lee Hongbin. this was an emotional piece turned romantic at the end. thanks for everyone who encouraged me on twitter. i hope those 60 people find this
> 
> leave a comment if you like it. i put a lot of emotions in this.


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